How do you make the decision to move overseas?
You want to move abroad. Great! You’ve landed on the right site here – it’s what I do – making sure you have all the information you need to make the best decision for you.
So, how do you make this decision to move abroad and ensure it’s the right life for you?
Perhaps you’re wavering a bit, because you want to make sure this is the right thing to do. You may have friends and family telling you this is the wrong choice; you’ll regret it, you’ll ruin your children’s lives, you’ll ruin their life… yep, the old guilt tripping trips in.
On the flip side, you believe you’ll have a better quality of life in another country. You know people who have moved and they’re telling you it’s the best life ever, you’ll regret it if you don’t move, you’ll give your kids the best life, best education, the best everything.
Argh! You’re being pulled in all directions, and eventually you don’t know which way is up.
Alternatively, you just know this is right for you and you’re just going to go for it and work it all out when you get there. You’re about to buy a plane ticket and you will wing it when you get there.
This is fine if it’s just you, and you’re not moving with children… It’s easier to wing-it when you’re flying solo. But please, take a moment to read this so you can truly achieve that life you dream about before you take-off. Especially if you’re moving with a family.
Should I stay or should I go?
Moving abroad is a huge decision – one that requires both careful planning and a clear vision. If you’re struggling with how to make a big decision when you can’t decide, you’re not alone.
When it comes to decision-making, most aspiring expats fall into one of two camps:
- The Overthinkers – You obsess over every detail, from visa requirements to whether your child’s favourite cereal is available in your new country. Your research is thorough (sometimes too thorough), but you struggle to take action, feeling paralysed by the weight of so many choices.
- The Big-Picture Dreamers – You have a grand vision of your new life but don’t look too closely at the logistics. You assume things will work out or believe that planning takes the fun out of the adventure. Unfortunately, this can lead to unexpected challenges, financial stress, or even the painful decision to move back home – sometimes known as ‘expat failure’.
Both approaches have their benefits, yet they also have their unique downfalls.
Overthinkers risk delaying their move indefinitely, while big-picture dreamers often end up disappointed because they didn’t anticipate potential obstacles.
The key? Balance your dream with preparation and research.
Overthinkers: When too much planning becomes a roadblock
If you find yourself researching endlessly without making real progress, you might be an overthinker. Some common signs include:
- Constantly seeking more information to put your mind at ease but feeling no closer to a firm decision.
- Making pros-and-cons lists that never seem to resolve anything.
- Flipping constantly between ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Sometimes in the same minute.
- Focusing on a particular aspect of your move – such as safety – which then throws up even more scary information each time you search. This is what algorithms do.
- Worrying about every possible outcome, from minor inconveniences to major disasters.
You may have reached analysis paralysis. Again, this is totally normal; it’s your brain’s way of protecting itself from all that hard thinking work. It’s called decision fatigue, and you can listen to my Expatability Chat Podcast episode on it here: Expat Decision Making Fatigue.
It doesn’t help when you have friends and family offering all kinds of conflicting advice, either. Naturally, they all have their own bias and thoughts on what you should do. Try to find someone neutral to discuss it with.
Also, if you let overthinking overtake you, you may find you leave it too late to get the visa you need, because some have age limits attached to them.
Or worse, you don’t move, and live to regret it.
How to move forward:
- Zoom out: Ask yourself, “What’s my ultimate goal?” instead of focusing on every tiny detail. Look at the big picture.
- Prioritise decisions: Not everything needs an answer right now – some things can be figured out later. Some things… work out your main priorities and start there.
- Take small steps: Plan an exploratory look-see trip which can be a great way to gain clarity without committing to the entire move just yet. Or book a consultation.
Big-picture dreamers: When a lack of planning leads to disaster
If you’re excited about the idea of moving abroad but haven’t thought through the practicalities, you may be a big-picture dreamer. Some common signs include:
- Overlooking important details like cost of living, healthcare, or job opportunities. Research is vital – it won’t dampen the buzz, it will help you have the best life you dream about.
- Assuming things will work out without a solid plan – such as believing you’ll be able to simply walk into the perfect job there without recognising certain visa limitations.
- Moving on impulse and dealing with problems as they arise. Or not…
- Feeling overwhelmed when reality doesn’t match your expectations. This is the most common upset I’ve encountered, for more reasons I can post now.
I can’t tell you the number of stories I’ve heard from those who discovered the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. For example, the family who upped sticks completely to move away from ‘Broken Britain’ for pastures new. A country where many English-speakers love to emigrate. They sold everything to make this move abroad.
Their dream was for one parent not to work, so they could spend more time with their children: to have more free leisure time as a family. To indulge in the outdoors lifestyle and do all kinds of fabulous activities unavailable in the UK. In their eyes, to have a perfect life.
However, they didn’t investigate the cost of living in that country before they left… which is high. Higher than the UK. Utility bills were astronomical. Food is expensive. They’re not allowed to purchase property there.
So, they both had to find new jobs just to survive. They had to buy two cars to facilitate this. They had no spare time to participate in their children’s lives: no time, or money, to spend on the activities they dreamt about. All their savings from selling up in the UK quickly disappeared.
Now, they can’t afford to move back home. Their relationship has disintegrated. It’s a big mess.
It’s a deeply saddening story that could have had a completely different outcome if only they’d researched a little more – even if that one piece of research was just the cost of living.
How to move forward:
- Reality check: Dreaming is great, but grounding your vision in realistic research will help make your new life a long-term success. Discover what to expect when you move abroad.
- Ask the hard questions: What will you do for income? Can you access healthcare? What happens if things don’t go as planned?
- Plan for the unknown: Have a plan B: a financial cushion and a backup plan in case things don’t work out immediately.
- Find the right support: Working with an expat consultant can help identify potential blind spots before they become problems.
Are you stuck in the details or ignoring them completely?
Which are you? It’s also possible to be both!
You don’t want to regret not doing it later in your life. As Mark Twain said,
“We regret the things we don’t do more than the things we do.”
Making the decision to move abroad: Clarity + Action
Are you stuck wondering how to decide whether to move abroad or not? The most successful expat moves happen when vision meets preparation. Instead of getting lost in research or jumping in without a plan, aim for a balanced approach.
Making the decision to live abroad is not always easy, and the eternal expat dilemma of whether moving is the right decision can feel overwhelming. But you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
This is exactly where my Expat Espresso Call helps.
If you’re stuck in overthinking or need a reality check on your dream, I can help you gain clarity, identify what really matters, and move forward with confidence.
In just one session, one hour with me, you’ll get personalised advice and expert insight from someone who is completely neutral and unbiased.
Book a call now and take the first step toward your successful move abroad. I can’t wait to hear about your dream life abroad!
